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Writer's pictureSleepless Momma

He Could've Taken the Easier Road, But Instead He Chose Family

Updated: Aug 7, 2019

An ode to men who continue to choose to be good fathers.


Oh didn't we all - for a time - dreamed of living like men? To walk the streets proud and fearless; to have the same sense of dominance and control over the world; to run free from the bounds of household chores and childcare obligations. I've always felt like it was easier to be a man, and I still think so. Your life as a man could have been so much easier if you will.


But you chose to get married

From carefree drunken night-outs to limitless video games on weekends; from all-out ball games to YOLO nature outtakes with friends; from barrels and barrels of beer to countless possibilities of hookups and relationships; the possibilities of fun are endless. But for some reason, amidst all that frenzy, a part of you yearned for commitment. Though you could've had more fun with other different women, you fixed your gaze to this one girl. Though you could've had more freedom being single, you actually asked for her hand and recited your vows to her by the altar. Marriage is such an enormous concept. 5 years in, I still get overwhelmed by the bigness of it. Yet men like you remain choosing to wake up every day to the same woman beside you. Marriage is also hard work—daily. Only the strongest make it out alive. It means constant battle of ideas, clashes of personalities, and whirlwind of emotions. But instead of getting rid of all the drama, you accepted it as part of the deal and you listened to every hormonal outbursts and turned every heated argument to thoughtful expressions. You're here because you choose—every day—to honor your promise and celebrate your commitment.


And you chose to stay through the tough times

Staying married is one thing, staying married and loving through all the trials and hardships is another. It was never that simple. The world throws challenges and temptations every now and then, and honestly, sometimes it's easier to just give in. But you know very well that what's easy isn't always what's right. Because sometimes, it's easier to just put the blame on your wife, or anybody else. But instead, you didn't let your pride take over. And there are also times when it will seem like it's easier to just leave and start over. But instead, you choose to build and rebuild what you have realizing it's never gonna be perfect but it's okay. Here you are mustering all your emotional, mental, and spiritual strength to keep your marriage safe. That while there are days when it's just practical to give up, you carry on believing that this is just another one of those hurdles you need to jump on together.


And you chose to be an amazing father to your kids

If there's anything more intimidating than staying happily married for life, I think it's the fact that the life of these young individuals depends on you. It's the fact that your life now becomes a model of what these kids will believe in, and that your presence can actually make or break them. But no matter how overwhelming that sense of obligation was, you stood there staring lovingly into the eyes of your newborn child, silently making an oath that you will ALWAYS be there. From first words, first steps, first bike rides, heartaches, to many other milestones you were there being their stronghold. And no matter how shaky and uncertain the times get, your children have always found security in you. You could've not done those filthy diaper changes, the sleepless colicky nights, the parent-teacher conferences, to the embarrassing summons to the principal's office; but instead you turn at every chance you get to make sure you were there every time they needed you. You had the option to keep the bachelor lifestyle and live a much simpler, quieter life, but instead you embraced the wonderful chaos that is fatherhood.


I don't think there are ever perfect fathers. I believe that, much like marriage, fatherhood is a choice they make every day—and it's clearly not the easiest of the options they have. That alone merits all the gratitude a sappy Facebook or IG tribute could never be enough to contain. Because having a child is easy, but it takes someone very special to be called a father. Here's to dads 🍻 Happy Father's Day!



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