2020 was an especially difficult year to look back to but, here we go.
This was a particularly hard recap to do, because, just like this cover image, 2020 was ultimate chaos. It's still so hard to process that year like, WTF just happened? Did we really just live through a plague? A global pandemic just took so many lives and is still affecting so many people around the world today, and global economies actually crashed. Parents are all suddenly home-schooling their kids, and we're all working from home now with zoom meetings left and right! Are your headphones still working? Are you on track with your kid's modules? Have you watered the plants? See, where do I even start? For some reason, this is the easiest way I thought of getting through this, so friends, let me recap my 2020 to you in memes.
I was so tired my tired was tired.
In my hearts of hearts, I am thankful to still be alive and still have my family with me in perfect health. I actually feel guilty for complaining, but I think it's mentally healthy for us to admit that we're exhausted. Say it with me: I AM F*CK*NG EXHAUSTED. For me, I feel like that exhaustion comes from spending all the mental, emotional, and spiritual energy I have every day trying to cope with the changes, and worrying, and accepting this scary reality that we're living amidst a pandemic and I have to protect my family the best way I can. To be fair, nobody told me to put that burden on my shoulders every minute of every day, that's just me as a person - I love burdening and stressing myself out mentally, then complaining about how tired I've made myself become. But this pandemic hit us like a ton of bricks. It came out of nowhere and altered our lifestyles in a snap (omg, like Thanos).
I started hearing small bits of news about the Coronavirus early in January 2020, but it didn't really bother me until news of a possible nationwide lockdown started going around - that was around February. And by March, when it finally dawned on me that we're facing a global pandemic, I was almost at my wit's end fighting my own anxiety just to retain the presence of mind I need to protect my family from this. No wonder we're all dead-ass tired from scrambling to have sufficient food on the table, enough toilet paper, hand sanitizer, disposable facemasks, and Netflix subscriptions to keep us sane.
We all suddenly had to stay home and TBH, I ain't complaining.
Governments all around the world suddenly blasted announcements for people to stay inside their homes and people complained like they're being held up against their will when there's obviously a pandemic we all need to control. Meanwhile, my introverted ass sat at home realizing this is the single-most introvert thing I've been doing best my whole life - and they call it "quarantine." Oh, and you know the 6-foot distance you have to maintain from other people? I've been doing that too my whole life and it always made me feel uncomfortable when people invade that invisible bubble. You can just imagine how happy I am when governments actually started implementing the 6-foot distance as a quarantine law. I was so happy I could cry. And since we're all mandated to stay home, we also had to WORK FROM HOME - yay.
Working from home was a blast while it lasted.
I've been inquiring to human resources about a work-from-home setup even before this pandemic started, but unfortunately, if you're in the retail industry here in the Philippines (even if you work in the back office like me), that's just unlikely. So when the Philippine government mandated all industries to implement a remote work setup, I was overjoyed! Finally, I can work on my own desk at home and be close to my son the whole day. Just like you, my day was filled with Zoom meetings left and right, and being one to host a lot of those meetings, I couldn't count the times I had to teach people to how mute their microphones when they're not supposed to talk.
That mute button was smashed so many times - sorry, colleagues, not sorry. And in between meetings, I happily obliged to my now demanding three-year-old. He may be a handful (as most toddlers are), but I won't trade being able to work and be with him at home for anything. So yeah, fun times. Unfortunately for us in this company, that didn't last very long. We gradually had to return to office work set up around June. We had to undergo a series of tests to ensure they're only allowing COVID-19-negative people to report back to work. You get to stay home to self-isolate if you're positive. I wasn't sure if I need to be thankful I've been negative this whole time because going back to work felt like a curse.
I was so stressed I almost quit.
Global economies crashed as a result of this pandemic and a lot of businesses, including my company, had to make a slight pivot.
My company had to lay-off a number of employees. As a result, the remaining ones had to take over their work. As one of the lucky ones who were retained, to me, it meant having to do something completely beyond my skill set. I was constantly reminded that I need to be grateful that I still have work, as a lot of my fellow Filipinos were suddenly left jobless - I am grateful - however, I learned that doing something completely out of your expertise can actually take a toll on your physical and mental wellbeing after some time. This went on for a while and came to a point where I questioned whether being here was worth it. I knew I always have the option to take on something with a wfh setup. I can even try to do freelancing while looking for something permanent again. But then I prayed (and prayed) for clarity, strength, and patience until things turn around - and thankfully things actually turned around. Which ultimately taught me that resilience is really important BUT only to a certain extent. Resilience is not the answer to a really toxic situation, and now more than ever, we should all learn to draw our boundaries and be brave in getting ourselves out of toxic situations because if this pandemic taught us anything, it's that LIFE IS SHORT.
I learned how to make my own scarf mask - among other things.
Like many people, I also felt compelled to make my time at home productive - as if being a mom and working 8-10 hours a day isn't - by developing a new skill/hobby: SEWING. My sister gave me this small desktop sewing machine and I just loved it. I bought a slightly bigger one with more stitch settings and was able to create a couple of tops and dresses for myself, and most importantly scarf masks.
I don't know, for some reason, I just felt really proud making these because I've been looking around for similar scarf masks I've seen worn by celebrities like Olivia Palermo and Heart Evangelista to no avail. So I thought, I'll just make some for myself. And I just loved it a lot I thought might as well give it a try selling them. Well, at least I tried LOL. At the very least, I still get to keep light, flowy, and fashionable scarf masks to myself and give away some to family and friends. If you're curious and want to check it out, click here.
I learned that isolation is taking a toll on us differently and that I need to be more empathetic.
Even within my own home, people are reacting to isolation so differently. I am loving it, my husband - as the extroverted PR man that he is - is still trying to adapt, and my son is being molded by it with only slight hints of pre-pandemic memories. While I'm loving all the space we're putting in between ourselves in general, my husband is trying his best to cope because he thrives in people-relations and being out and about. Meanwhile, my son is now being raised in a completely different world where the kiddie parties he sees on YouTube are suddenly a thing of the past, the parks he still remembers to run around in are all suddenly closed, and the friends and classmates we once promised he will have at school are now an uncertain possibility. Now I can just imagine this on a global scale - there's not a single way to survive this isolation the pandemic pushed all of us into. While it could be a walk in the park for a lot of introverts, a lot of us may have to actually grieve the loss of social interaction that made us thrive as a species in the first place. Lastly, our children could be finding it hard to understand why their isolated reality now differs so much from our past of playdates, kiddie parties, neighborhood trick-or-treats, and friends giving high-fives and hugs to each other. In short, we have to be kind - no matter what. We are all just trying to survive this pandemic.
2020 was wild. I still couldn't believe we're living amidst a plague. The collective loss of the world was almost too much to bear at certain points, but if there's anything we should all understand about human nature is that we're a resilient species. It's incredible the amount of pain we all endured, but it's also equally astounding how we remain on our feet fighting this invisible foe with all our might - until, maybe, little by little, we take control of the number of cases. Little by little, we restart our economies. Little by little, we perfect the vaccine formula, and little by little, we develop herd immunity all around the world until we ultimately make this disease one of the many strands of viruses successfully eradicated by humankind. 2020 jaded me so bad, but I am a mom. There's a little one at home looking up to me, depending on me to keep on - so as parents - now more than ever - we may all be sleepless, but we will make it through ♡
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