The smallest member of our pack took over my entire world in a heartbeat.
TRIGGER WARNING: The following entry deals with pet loss/bereavement.
This little stinky furball is the youngest of my 3 poodle furchildren. I adopted him from my mother-in-law when he needed closer attention after being diagnosed with thrombocytopenia at 3 months. Since then, I vowed to be his mommy and be his most favorite person in the whole wide world. I recently just lost him to the same blood condition that he previously survived. I am still a mess and I don't know what to do with my life. In my best attempt to make sense of this overflowing love I have for him now that he's gone, here are 20 things I adore about my bunso, Scott:
1. He was a fighter.
From the first day I took him home, I knew we'd fight lots of battles together because there's really no cure to his blood condition. It's like severe anemia in people, where your red blood cell and platelet levels always fluctuate putting you at high risk for infections. These photos were taken the day he was discharged from the hospital in 2016. It was one of the happiest moments of my life. I knew we had challenges before us but all that mattered to me was that Scott's alive and he's coming home with me. He fought hard for days in the hospital at only 3 months old. He developed a permanent limp on his left front leg because of the IV, but it didn't bother him (see # 3). He had to take daily iron supplements orally, much to his dismay, but as his mommy, it was my job to make sure he takes his supplements daily no matter how badly he pouts at me. I bug other people in the house to give him his daily iron supplement whenever I am unable to do it personally. Scotty was very little and very fragile but he was a fighter. We survived a lot together in 3 years, and during his final days in the hospital, he never stopped showing me he was fighting.
2. Like his three brothers, he loved being held.
All my children (with and without fur) love being cuddled, but I gotta say that Scotty was my best snugglebug. HE'S GLUED TO ME WHENEVER I'M AT HOME. I had to master the act of breastfeeding his human brother in one arm, and snuggling him in the other because he just won't quit.
And I loved that he loved being around me. He was so tiny that I could never complain about carrying him for so long because he barely weighs anything! But I feel like I always tend to carry him more because aside from being a natural cuddler, he was the smallest and the most fragile among my kids, and it's always with me where he felt safest and most secure. And when any of his brothers dared taking his place near me, he snarled like a lion 🦁
3. He had this permanent limp on his left front foot, which instantly goes away when he's happy.
He got his limp from a partial nerve damage from his IV when he got confined at 3 months old. He was so little that it was difficult to administer an IV without hurting his veins. The doctor has always been transparent about this and advised us to massage his leg regularly and take him on walks as exercise and therapy. True enough, the slight limp didn't really bother him and would easily go away whenever he gets excited with food, going out, or by simply seeing me come home after a long day at work.
4. Sometimes, he just barks out of compliance.
We all know that dogs bark to react to everything, right? Well, Scott NEVER barks. He calls our attention via silent but more obvious ways like tapping his food or water bowl whenever he wants a refill or by scratching our legs when he needs to be held. He learned to communicate through touch and would only bark whenever his big brothers do, and I've always felt like he's done it out of compliance. In my head, it was like,
JARVIS: A WATER DELIVER BOY!!!! WATER DELIVERY BOY! ALERT THE WHOLE HOUSE!!!
ROCKET: OMG HERE HE IS AGAIN, MOM DAD THE WATER DELIVERY BOY IS HERE!
JARVIS, ROCKET: *Looks at Scott licking his undescended testicles*
...
SCOTT: O YEAH RIGHT, WATER BOY'S HERE!!!
5. His eyes.
I still don't know what it is about dogs' eyes, but every time I look at Scotty's eyes, I feel his love so much. Like I don't know how that's possible to communicate with just your eyes but my dogs—Scott particularly—do it all too well.
6. His tiny paws.
His tiny toe beans and how they smell of corn flakes make my heart flutter.
7. He was stinkin' cute—literally cute, literally stinkin'.
Imagine a poodle puppy that never grew—that was Scott! He's a bit smaller than the average adult sizes of his brothers and sisters, and was like a literal puppy at 3 years old. He was my cutest lap dog. And he hated having his teeth brushed so he also literally stank 🤣 STILL, I will never trade his stinky kisses for anything in the world.
8. He didn't let his brothers bully him just because he's the smallest.
My bunso was feisty. I think he had the spirit of a doberman.
9. He loved his furless puppy brother since day 1.
Since Scott was the most glued to me among my 3 furchildren, I think he was also the first to understand what was happening to me when I got pregnant with their human brother.
He would lie on my tummy like this and occasionally do a startle whenever his baby brother kicked. He would also sniff my tummy—the only one who did so among my kids—as if he knew someone was in there. Someone he would love so much. When his baby brother was born, they indeed became the best of friends. The even started a vlog together - something I never thought would only have just 1 episode (see # 16).
10. He ate the MOST food—even more than Jarvis did.
Scott may be my tiniest furball, but he sure had the appetite of a dinosaur. I have no idea where he was putting all the food, because he never really got fat from being so matakaw. He would always finish his food bowl first and wait for any of his brothers to leave theirs so he can finish what's left from their bowls 😅 It has always given me joy seeing my babies eat heartily. Scott's unparalleled enthusiasm about anything I prepare for them is one of the things I dearly miss these days.
11. His wiwi shoots in the rug.
My little raptor had the best aim!
12. He never gave mommy a hard time during baths—toothbrushing is a different story.
Scott loved bath times and would be so relaxed that he often tend to fall asleep as I dried him off. He hated toothbrushing since day 1, hence the stinks.
13. He never complained like his big brothers when they had to sleep in the living room for a bit when their furless puppy brother was too small to share the bed.
One of the hardest adjustments I ever had to do when my first human baby was born was getting used to having my furchildren sleep in the living room, because they've been used to sleeping with us in our bed. During the first few days, my eldest boys Jarvis and Rocket would whine all night making me feel all guilty and torn about locking them out. Scott was never like that though. He just quietly found his warm corner in the living room and wait till we open the bedroom door in the morning to greet us.
14. He was mommy's yoga partner.
Once my yoga mat's out, he'll instantly sploot there. He's already mastered the cobra pose.
15. He would never leave mommy alone if it was up to him.
He was a literal lap dog because he never left my lap whenever I'm at home. It's like he's velcroed on me 😍 It was a mutual obsessions because I loved holding him all the time—and these days, there's nothing I wouldn't give in all the world to have one more chance to hold him this close again.
16. He was a natural at vlogging.
I first discovered Mason and Scotty's chemistry when my firstborn started learning how to play with his furbrothers. He bonded particularly well with Scott since day 1 and that's what I was able to capture on this video. Scotty's lines weren't scripted at all 🤣
Scott has always been so patient with Mason. He never complained whenever Mason unintentionally tugged his ear or tail. I'd call Mason out a lot of times because it's a rule in the house to always be gentle on Scotty. They loved doing zoomies together. They would also sit together on the couch for hours on end watching the same Netflix cartoons over and over. Mason also loved to discreetly share his french fries and potato chips with Scotty. These were some of the moments I've always wanted to capture on camera and share through their vlogs.
17. He understood me better than most people.
Having dogs taught me that a deep emotional connection doesn't require human language. Dogs have a way of telling us and making us feel more than any of our human friends and family members can say through words. Scott would just look at me and rub his head on my cheek and those gestures speak more to me than any human words.
18. He has never thrown a tantrum.
For a little boy who's been spoiled, he was never the type to whine or throw a tantrum about anything. He was my most patient, most behaved baby.
19. He always looked at me like I was the best person in the world and I was his hero.
Dogs have a way of making you feel like you're a bigger, stronger, more important, and more beautiful person than what you think of yourself. Scotty would always look at me with such adoring eyes that made me want to be a better mommy and a better person because Scotty deserved nothing but the best. It's also one of the toughest things to live with today because I tend to question whether I've been good enough as his mommy, whether I was able to give him the best life possible, and whether I tried hard enough to save him. But I loved him with my whole heart and I don't know for how much longer I'm gonna beat myself up at this, but I loved him way too much.
20. He never allowed me to forget how much he loved me—even till the very end.
Like Jarvis, Scott never showed me he was giving up every time I was there at the hospital to visit him during his final days. He was always in his best disposition giving me all these looks that gave me hope. I was so confident he was gonna make it. But those were looks of love as he tried to assure me everything's gonna be okay. He did his best to give me those loving stares so those were the final memories I take with me before he went.
I've been living my most difficult days as a mother these past few weeks. I lost 2 of my children 2 weeks apart—a mother's worst nightmare. Writing about Scott has been particularly difficult because I couldn't even start to process my reality. It's been so difficult to process these things emotionally and mentally. I am a total wreck, for I don't know how long, but I know that I need to start trying at the very least.
Scott, you were the light of mommy's heart for 3 years. Now that you're off to the rainbow bridge with Kuya Jarvis, it's just so dark all over and mommy's terrified. But mommy's gonna keep fighting just as how you fought to be with me when you were little ♡ Mommy's love for you is bigger than all this space between us, baby. We'll see each other again.
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