This is my labor, delivery, and pre-eclampsia story.
My entire pregnancy was a dream. It was easy and Peanut and I - I used to call my son Peanut when he's still in my tummy; I still call him this sometimes - were healthy all throughout. However, things started taking a complete turn during labor and after delivery. I am sharing this story for moms-to-be and those planning to have kids soon or ever so you can somehow prepare physically, emotionally, and psychologically for the unexpected.
My water broke around 1:00 am of October 2, 2017. I knew it was my water as it came out as a huge gush and I couldn’t control it. I woke my husband up and the moments that came after felt like something from a Pinoy comedy flick - it was crazy and funny. Per my OB’s confirmation, who so happened to be awake at that time, we headed to the hospital. We all knew that was it. We’re gonna have a baby in a few hours!
Coming into the hospital (The Medical City, Ortigas) was an inexplicable moment. I was excited, anxious, and amazed at the same time. There were a lot of other feelings in there that I couldn’t identify. I was directed to the pre-labor room where I had to immediately change into a hospital gown. I was checked and it was confirmed my water already broke. The resident doctor explained to me that since my amniotic fluid’s already draining, I have to give birth within 18 hours because after that, Peanut will start to be in distress and will be susceptible to infections. I kept my mind focused on the goal: me going into labor without an epidural for as long as I can, my cervix progressing, and delivering P normally. That was the GOAL. My pregnancy was a dream. It was everything I prayed for. But indeed there are moments when the universe will tell you that not everything will go according to plan no matter how hard you put your mind into it.
Since my water broke at 1:00 am, my 18th hour is at 7:00 pm of the same day. I was wheeled in to the labor room at 2:00 am where I spent the next 17 hours visualizing P moving down in to my pelvic opening and breathing through all my contractions. It was the strongest 18 hours of my life. With every contraction, I held on to this picture in my head of me finally holding my son in my arms and both of us being healthy and safe. However, hours went by and one IE (internal exam) after another, all I kept hearing from the resident OB was that I’m stuck at 1cm. They gave me oxytocin by 2:30 pm to make my contractions stronger in the hopes of helping me progress. As expected, my contractions became more unbearable. It got to a point where I actually asked for the epidural already (I couldn’t bear the pain anymore perhaps out of exhaustion), but my OB said it might only slow down my progress further so I complied to proceed without it – while in tears.
More hours ticked by and I found myself dreading the resident OB’s IE as I grew tired of hearing “1cm parin.” And just as I feared, nothing changed by 5:00 pm. At this point I was already considering the possibility that I might never go past 1cm. I was preparing myself emotionally and mentally for what I’ve been scared of the most this entire pregnancy: a C Section. I was in tears when my husband came back to the labor room. I couldn’t contain my emotions anymore. I was too scared. But as he held my hand and assured me with a smile on his face that everything’s gonna be fine, and that we’ll get to hug our healthy baby boy soon, I finally found the peace I needed. My OB came shortly after and by that time I was fully accepting of the reality that I will go under the knife to get my baby out. My OB is an angel. She’s as-a-matter-of-fact straightforward but is always, always very reassuring. She put my heart at ease. So when she did the final IE, I embraced the reality of a C section amidst a very terrified heart.
Jayson stepped outside the labor room for a while as they prepped me up for the operation. I felt my face go pale as I anticipate what was going to happen next: being inside an OR for the first time in my life, the spinal anesthesia, the catheter, the actual operation, and me being awake the whole time. I was utterly terrified. But then all of that was for my son. So it won’t be hard for him anymore to enter the world. So he could finally be with us. So with eyes closed, I prayed and embraced every second that came after. I will endure anything and face my biggest fears for my son. The next thing I knew (as my lower body’s completely numb) they were already operating on me, and just as Peanut was about to come out, Jayson was called inside the OR to stay beside me. Hearing his voice and seeing him there gave me peace and calm. And a few moments later, we hear Peanut’s first cry and I just started crying I almost couldn’t breathe through the oxygen mask. Jayson was fighting so hard to look tough in front of his newborn son. He kept muttering, “My baby’s so strong! He’s a strong kid” while trying to keep it together. The things that happened next were still a blur to me. The only thing I remember clearly was being wheeled into my room at 12:00 mn of October 3, my mom meeting me at the door, and me giving her a big hug. You never understand how really selfless a mother’s love and devotion is until you become a mother yourself. I hope my mom felt how thankful I am and how much more I love her now through that hug.
Peanut was roomed in with me shortly after. It was surreal seeing him up close. He’s really here! He used to be inside my tummy and now he’s really here outside with us! We actually made a little human!! It was all bliss despite all the post-CS recovery, and we only stayed at the hospital for 4 days.
Taking Peanut home was once again an overwhelming emotional experience. I was so excited and happy, but then I was also anxious and worried as I think about what I wasn’t able to fix and clean in the house. Will my fur babies behave well around him when they first meet him? Were the sheets changed? Was the floor mopped? I was able to keep myself together as I held him. And when we got home, my heart completely calmed down and I knew everything’s gonna be alright.
That first night in the house was when things started taking a complete turn. I allowed my mom and Jayson to sleep through the night since they’ve tirelessly watched after me and Peanut while we’re in the hospital. I set my mind to staying up all night feeding and cradling P. And that’s exactly what happened. I stayed up ALL NIGHT. Morning came and my mom took the job of looking after P while I catch up on sleep. I noticed both my feet swelling, my hands and my face too. When Jayson woke up, he instinctively checked my blood pressure. His face dropped. He had to check two more times to confirm it. I was at 170/100. They told me not to move too much as Jayson asked my OB what to do next. We were told to immediately go to the ER.
I couldn’t believe what was happening. There we were rushing to the hospital again to be most likely admitted for God knows how long this time, all while carrying a newborn baby with us (as advised by my OB) who I couldn’t leave behind cos he’s being exclusively breastfed. My anxiety went through the roof with my BP. I was wheeled in again to the labor room as they monitored my consistently high BP (I was going around 150/90 to 170/100). For the first time ever, I got scared for my life. I knew how critical post-partum hypertension was as I could have seizures and more severe internal complications if we don’t get this under control. I got so scared I cried in the labor room not for myself but for my newborn son, who was then with my mother-in-law waiting in the hallway. It was cold out there. What if he’s too cold? What if he cries and looks for me? What if this hypertension gets worse and I die and I leave my poor son alone suddenly motherless? I had seriously morbid thoughts but those were valid fears considering my situation. So amidst tears, amidst the incessant beeping of the vital signs monitor, I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer. I asked God to help me and my family get through this. I told him I will fight with all my might to get better and that I will do it for P. I will get through this for my son.
Hypertension was scary. I had no symptoms. No headaches, stomach pains, difficulty breathing, none. My blood pressure just shoots up without me even feeling it. As I’ve said earlier, my entire pregnancy was a dream. Peanut and I were completely healthy all throughout. I never had hypertension even before getting pregnant. This was the first time ever in my life where I had to take daily anti-hypertension medicine just to get my BP under control. These things happen. You can be in your best shape your entire pregnancy and suddenly be hypertensive post delivery. I spent 5 more days in the hospital. At that point, both of my arms were bruised from all the blood extractions and failed IV insertions. My final diagnosis: Post-partum Pre-eclampsia, Severe, Controlled.
RELATED: We need to talk about pre-eclampsia.
As of writing this, Peanut and I are 6 months post-partum. I’m feeling so much better. I can’t feel anything weird around my CS wound anymore, my tummy’s back to its pre-pregnancy size, and I lost a lot of weight too when I lost all the water retention (also due to continued breastfeeding). According to my OB, I will be at high risk for hypertension/eclampsia from this point on. My hypertension can manifest early on in my next pregnancy, which is riskier. It could get a lot worse or there maybe none at all. My mom, having watched me go through all of it, told me not to have any more kids. She said one is enough and that I should feel blessed that I even had one. She was too scared for me. BUT I want at least 2 children. I want one more kid but I also want to be a healthy (and alive) mom for my kids. It pains me to even consider this could be my one and only child. That this is the only time I’ll be able to witness all these milestones. But as my husband said, none of us can tell for sure. Only God can say whether or not we’ll have another child in the future. I’m thankful I have my husband to support and strengthen me through all this come what may.
Today, all I do is make sure my son is fed (I breastfeed on demand), clean, and content. I've fully recovered from pre-eclampsia, thankfully, but is still - believe it or not - adjusting to an efficient daily routine with Peanut. My post-CS experience has been traumatic. Pregnancy, labor, and delivery are amazing things, but it’s true what they say about mothers having one foot buried while giving birth. But all of it, ALL OF IT, was worth it now that I get to hug and stare at my healthy baby as long as I want to. I’ve dreamed and yearned for this baby for only God knows how long. This is one of those things I will thank God for as long as I live. I couldn’t ask for a better, more understanding, patient, and devoted husband. Jayson, being the loving husband that he already is, further transformed into this super amazing husband and dad when Peanut came. Now I have this great man by my side, 3 adorable fur babies, and a very healthy and handsome baby boy to top it all off. Looking at my son right now and feeling my heart on an entirely different level of bliss, I just have to say it again: ALL OF IT WAS WORTH IT ♡
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