There's no other way to put it.
I'm sorry, I'm not the mom who will censor my words with the level of energy I have left today. Besides, toning down my language won't emphasize what I'm trying to share here with you. It is hard. And nobody ever warned me about how difficult it exactly is. Most of them just said "good luck, sleep as much as you can now, blah blah blah." Nobody ever said I was in for the most exhausting ride of my life.
Today, I decided to put up a new blog - alongside my other two blogs, which I obviously have completely abandoned ever since I gave birth - for three simple but very important things: 1) To celebrate the life I now have - the transformation I have gone through so far, and the many more transformations I will experience on this exhilarating motherhood journey, 2) To celebrate the 6th month of my son - who did not even have cake, not even poorly DIY-ed buntings at home, nor at least a mushy Instagram post because his mother is currently physically drained surviving 2 jobs, plus obviously the job of being a mom and running an entire household, 3) And lastly, to somehow start a loving, nurturing, and supportive community of mothers who help and positively lift up each other, because let's be honest all together, this thing that we got ourselves into is in no way a piece of cake. We need each other. And that's the reason I'm here writing this down. I got you. We got this. So back to what I was writing about...
Being a mother - from pregnancy, to giving birth, to raising the kids - is hard on its own. And being a mother in this age of social media has become more difficult on a whole other level. If you're anything like me, you've researched, asked other moms, and really studied to prepare yourself for this task. At least that's what I've made myself believe. That I was prepared. But no I was not, and neither were you. I feel like that's the one truth behind all this: that we can never prepare enough to be mother. Nothing will ever prepare us in being moms. As what I've said, you just jump on a fast-moving train and hold on for your dear life. And as we go along daily, it actually gets harder and the pressure on us gets heavier as this drooling human in our arms becomes more of a person. And that's the point. Let's stop pretending that motherhood is all beauty, glow, love, and peace - BECAUSE IT IS NOT. It is beauty, pain, glow, saggy boobs, love, anxiety, peace, and also fear taking over you all at the same time. It is all these beautiful things the media has told you about for years, but it's also all the real stuff nobody ever tells you about like the real pain, frustration, worry, and struggle that comes with childbirth, recovery, and child rearing.
My theory is that the world had to romanticize motherhood to somehow cheer mothers up and remind them that hey, this is also amazing; or hey, you just gave birth to this wonderful human being who's gonna grow up with big dreams and will conquer great things, isn't that a miracle? It is beautiful and it is a miracle I still can't believe I was able to be part of. But this thing we got here, is also the darnest, most exhausting thing I have ever done in my life—and that's exactly why I love it. I am so exhausted but I love being a mother to my baby because I am being transformed into this person I never knew I could become. I am being transformed into a much stronger, more resilient, and a more flexible woman my 15-year-old self would be totally, totally proud of. I am a momma. And that's the most precious badge of honor I will carry my whole life.
So you, yes you - mom with drool, pee, poop, and all kinds of stains on that god-knows-how-old shirt, holding that nth cup of coffee today, you got this! And I got you. That's the reason why I'm here putting this thing up.
And hey, let's not forget to greet my little one here happy 6 months ♡
Happy 6 months, my love. You are mommy's sunshine everyday ☀
We got this!
XO,
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