From Breaking Royal Protocol to Wanting an Ordinary Childhood for her New Baby, Meghan Markle is Leaving and Indelible Mark in the Palace
Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, just gave birth to a future king. Being a mother and a wife in this day and age - when there's simply so much being expected from us women - is an almost impossible feat on its own. But can you imagine being in a world where you have to live a certain way to meet exceptionally high expectations, follow stringent rules, be a doting and supportive wife to a prince, and at the same time be a mother to someone who could possibly sit on the throne one day? That's got to be an intense amount of pressure! And, did we ALL fantasize about marrying a real-life prince at least once in our lives? C'mon, let's be honest here for a second. But certainly, none of us had a hint of what it really means for a commoner to be married into royalty. Her Royal Highness, Duchess of Sussex gives us a visual of how it is to have great responsibility from power when from being an average American actor, she rose to become the most looked upon new member of The Royal Family. May it be in pop culture or in the halls of The British Royalty, our Cover Momma is making waves. For our super late, post-Mother's Day feature, just before Father's Day completely unfolds this June - in true Sleepless Momma fashion - it is with great pride that I present to you our Royal Cover Momma for May: Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex
Ballsy, Unapologetically Ambitious, and Lives Her Truth
Meghan started doing minor acting roles and television gigs shortly after graduating from the Northwestern University. On her own, she worked her way forward propelling her portfolio to eventually including bigger projects such as the American TV series Suits and the 2015 crime drama film called Anti-Social. She also published her very own lifestyle website called, The Tig, which hosted a bunch of articles on food, travel, fashion, and beauty catering to a digital audience with a rather discerning palate. As a Hollywood actor, Markle was also - sort of - required to maintain a considerable following on social media. But apart from this, she also maintained active involvement in charity projects.
"With fame comes opportunity, but it also includes responsibility - to advocate and share, to focus less on glass slippers and more on pushing through glass ceilings. And, if I'm lucky enough, to inspire." Meghan Markle, Elle Uk
It's quite interesting how she seemed to have foreshadowed her own destiny by mentioning glass slippers - a rather evident thought of royal life. This bit was from an essay she contributed for Elle UK in 2016, way before she officially embraced her royal destiny. The first-person narrative details how her life as an actress in Hollywood with philanthropic pursuits has been challenging. To succeed, Markle had to bank on herself and develop a strong, independent, and open-minded perspective to fully absorb the stories she's being exposed to as she travelled the world. Vanity Fair reports that it was her charity work that actually paved the way for her to meet the man who was meant to change her life forever.
If you're a follower of the British Royal Family like me, you've probably also come across tons of articles about the rumored friction between Meghan and some of the royal staff. As royals, the family maintains a high-calibre line of assistants. Over the recent months though, the turn-around rate of Meghan's staff was said to be at an all-time high. Duncan Larcombe from London's The Sun, who've also covered the Royal Family for years, told Page Six in an interview that while Harry's staff has always found him fantastic, Harry and Meghan together tends to be quite high maintenance. Her American independence has apparently been kind of a novelty for palace staff, which is quite unsurprising as Meghan literally went from being able to completely control her personal and career life to having somebody else make all her decisions for her. A close friend of the Duchess was also cited to say that while her passion and strength are admirable, these are nonetheless tricky attributes to carry with you in the Royal Family. "She’s ballsy. She’s unashamedly ambitious — she has a great work ethic — and I can only imagine how that’s gone down inside the palace," the source says. Surely, marrying a royal as an independent woman with an already self-made career can be tricky. After being used to owning all life decisions and endeavors, Meghan had to learn how to take a few steps back and assume a completely different function behind her husband. Just imagine how that was like for her in the first few weeks! Her name has been buzzing all around the UK after representing a lot of groundbreaking firsts with the Royal Family. Not only is she the first-ever mixed-raced woman to ever marry into the Windors, but she's also the first ever American to uphold her privacy, ethics, and truth (personal and career-wise) amidst all the restrictions of her new royal status. As a result, she's been breaking royal protocol a few months into the marriage and the media simply couldn't do anything but spectate in awe. Because while her new status requires her to abide by certain rules and follow a few orders, some life decisions are simply hers to make.
Markle Completes What it Means to be A Real 'Power' Couple
Harry was always a vision of a young prince who wears his heart on his sleeve. He loves partying, goofing around with his brother, William, and sticking his tongue out for paparazzi photos. Meghan is a rising Hollywood actress and philanthropist, whose name was literally radio silent until news broke that she was about to marry the most eligible royal bachelor in the world. A free-spirited royal who has a big heart for children, and a beautiful, talented American actress with an equally charitable spirit—theirs was a tale that seemed to have long been written in the stars. Except that it was the UK Royals' first time to welcome someone like Meghan - American, mixed-race and a headstrong girl.
There is power in Harry's name whether he even tries or not. He IS a prince. Meghan's strength of character, however, is something that roots from needing to make sense of her identity as a mixed-race girl in America; finding strength from being brought up by an equally strong and courageous mother, Doria Ragland; and creating her own mark as a talented actor in such an enormous and diverse entertainment platform as Hollywood. Meghan also finds strength and inspiration in being woke about issues surrounding her and uses that knowledge to create a difference in her own altruistic ways. Meghan built herself up on her own. So when these two powerful individuals came together, I figured Meghan had to find the balance between being her true strong self and as a somewhat secondary figure beside Harry's powerful stature as a prince. Upon marrying Harry, the life she once knew as America's Meghan Markle has indeed changed forever.
"I think it is important that she realizes that she's part of an ensemble in the Royal family [...] She’s not the star, and she’s never going to be the star, at least, in terms of the actual hierarchy of the royal family. She’s in the supporting role. Even though the media is lavishing all the attention to her, that can create the inner conflict between the star she keeps being told she is versus the inherent supporting role that she’s actually there to play." Shinan Govani as cited by Josh Duboff, Vanity Fair
A big part of the Meghan's strength of character comes from the fact that she willingly embraced what it meant for her to be Harry's wife; that after all the things she was able to make of herself, she has to somewhat set them aside and take a few steps back to honor who his husband is in the world, and dutifully stand beside him as his better half and as a respectable representation of the Monarchy. That sounds freakin' hard, right? We gotta give our girl props because regardless of how much the press claims her feet frantically paddle under water, she's nonetheless able to come out of all that pressure and face her people with a swan's grace. Shinan Govani, a Toronto reporter who's also met Meghan previously, says that the Duchess was born ready for this role. “Unlike Diana, who entered into this world and into this marriage when she was still becoming herself, Meghan is already a fully formed person [...] The fact that they threw her there already speaks to the fact that she wanted to send a message that, ‘I’m here to get some sh*t done,” says Govani (as cited by Vanity Fair).
"When I was 11 years old, a dish-washing liquid commercial came on a TV with the tagline, 'Women all over America are fighting greasy pots and pans.' The boys yelled out, 'Yeah, that's where women belong. In the kitchen.' My little freckled face became red with anger. I went home and wrote letters to feminist civil rights lawyer Gloria Allred, plus a kids' news programme host, and Hillary Clinton (our first lady at the time). They all pledged support. A few months later, the commercial was changed to 'People all over America are fighting greasy pots and pans.'" Meghan Markle, Elle UK
Even at an early age, Meghan was aware of the power she holds by fighting for her virtues. Writing to the First Lady and to the CEOs of companies is not always our default reactions to TV commercials as young girls. But Meghan, being the empowered young lady that she was, did just that. This anecdote speaks a lot of the kind of upbringing Meghan was blessed with. Having to grow up with divorced parents and as a mixed-race girl in America, it would've been easier for her to be timid about these causes. But clearly, our cover momma was set out for something bigger since the beginning.
Her Pregnancy, Her Rules
The Royals have been an eternal subject of the British people's eyes and all of them know what this means and entails. From relationships, weddings, divorces, pregnancies, to the births of their children, all of these personal life events normally unfold right in front of the spectating British public's eyes leaving less to no privacy to the royal families at all. Meghan and Harry's pregnancy is another proof of the couple's dedication to take control of their own narrative. Meghan, being an actress for several years, must've been used to such kind of attention, but her persistence to keep most matters of her pregnancy private speaks volumes about the kind of life she and Harry envisioned and committed to. Because while her pregnancy, as the becoming of the life of a future king, is partly the British people's concern too, she still gets the final say on how she wants her pregnancy to go - something she's persistently taken full control off from the start, media be damned.
"Their Royal Highnesses have taken a personal decision to keep the plans around the arrival of their baby private. The Duke and Duchess look forward to sharing the exciting news with everyone once they have had an opportunity to celebrate privately as a new family." Statement from The Buckingham Palace
After decades of seeing a royal baby be presented at the door of the Lindo Wing of St. Mary's Hospital in London shortly after its birth, the world had to wait until the couple was ready to show the baby via a scheduled photocall at the Windsor Castle - much to the dismay of many. But really, who are we to demand? The world has become obsessed with these moments, almost being social rituals that distract us from the ordinariness of our own lives. Because while being royal is a duty, the public has somehow forgotten that the people playing these roles are actual human beings who also need to keep special moments to themselves alone - as we all do. Prince Harry's been quite disdainful of the British press even prior to his relationship with Meghan. Larcombe says that, in Harry's mind, it was the press that ultimately killed his mother in her desperate attempt to evade them in that uneventful crash in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in 1997. "I know that because he’s told me that several times privately,” the veteran editor says. If anything, Meghan's probably just being overly protective of his husband and being respectful of his stance about keeping the press at an arms' length of their personal life. To Harry, the press' negative treatment of Meghan may appear like history repeating itself. And it's not surprising that they're keeping a much tougher stance to keep them away now that their family has just become even more delicate.
A First-Time-Momma Under The Spotlight
I've honestly lost count of how many times I've said how difficult it is to be a first-time momma in this day and age. Like most of us, Meghan has probably exhausted her ways to learn and make sure she's prepared for this new journey. But if we're being real, we all know that's not possible. REAL TALK: there's simply no amount of research to prepare us well enough for motherhood. But Meghan is unlike any of us. She's a duchess; married to an heir to the British throne; and a mother to another future king. She's not just any other new mom. She's a new, vulnerable, still-recovering-mom, who's under strong public scrutiny and observation.
Having had a first-hand experience of how it is to recover physically, emotionally, and mentally from childbirth - in the absence of pesky tabloids and paparazzi, of course - I am one of the many who are cheering for Meghan as she remains to uphold her privacy up to this point of motherhood. Just shortly before the couple announced their pregnancy, they published @sussexroyal on Instagram, which has since then became our official window into their life. The couple has since posted photos of public engagements, loving anniversary greetings, baby gender reveal, glimpses of baby Archie's tiny feet and this may all be it - this may be all they're willing to share and that is fine. Meghan's assertion of her right to privacy is a clear deviation from all the tabloid culture she's been expected to be a part of. This escape from such a toxic culture, if anything, is understandably maternal—which clearly roots from wanting to create a safer space for her and her growing family, away from a system that's trying to write a completely different narrative about her. Whether she's a mother wanting more security for her family, or a normal person not wanting the public to know every tiny bit about her personal life, privacy is a privilege she shouldn't be denied of. Putting a baby in the middle of all this completely changes the game, and it is Meghan's job as a mother to put the game back into her own hands and stir it towards the wellbeing of her family.
No Vail of Fairytale
Women's bodies, even the thin builts like that of Meghan's, don't immediately go back to their natural state right after giving birth. The womb, that was stretched to carry a growing human being for 9 months, don't just automatically shrink back to its original size once the baby's out. However, this isn't what the media has trained us to expect. "Of course celebrities, who are paid in part for their superhuman good looks, go to great lengths to keep up the illusion that they have superhuman bodies. But so many images of postpartum women who look just like they did pre-pregnancy send the message that there’s something unattractive or shameful about a body that still exhibits a protruding belly, soft arms, and swollen fingers," writes Filipovic about the intense amount of pressure for women like Meghan to simply snap back to their pre-pregnancy bodies right after birth.
"Meghan chipped away just a little bit at the insane expectation that we should emerge physically unchanged from the process of creating a human and then promising to nurture it into adulthood, all while going through a hurricane of blood, sweat, and human emotion." Jill Filipovic, Vanity Fair
Making an appearance for the cameras is a non-negotiable for Meghan as it has been for Kate Middleton and many other royals. Most of us would deliberately avoid the cameras at this point of motherhood as many of our body parts are most likely still swelling and straight up unflattering. Meghan however, in all graciousness and gloriousness, faced the press in a delicate white dress and 5-inch heels looking way better than our made-up non-pregnant selves. What's endearing is seeing the duchess sport a post-baby bump without trying to hide it in any way. Mothers all over the world have expressed collective admiration and respect at the Duchess for taking another step towards helping normalize women's bodies. I say it's about time we turn our backs on society's ridiculous expectations and just let our natural selves be. It's about time that we, mothers, be more kind to ourselves and accept the fact that nobody needs to look like a goddamn Barbie doll right after giving birth. Well, Meghan is just naturally gorgeous. But the point is that we need to be kinder to our bodies and be more accepting of the changes that come with childbirth. Indeed without a vail of fairy tale glam, Meghan, as with many other celebrities like Chrissy Teigen and Amy Schumer, is showing us what motherhood really looks like. Because while she's a duchess, she's nonetheless just another human mother like all of us whose uterus actually needs time to retract. "In a role where the bar is already sky-high, she has to be extra, extra perfect. Which is part of what made her appearance—polished, beautiful, but real—so great." And we couldn't agree more, Vanity Fair, we couldn't agree more.
Apart from showing the world what a post-baby tummy looks like in the real world, Meghan was also said to be headstrong about giving baby Archie a normal childhood as much as possible. This, apart from choosing a more secluded life at the Frogmore Cottage and opting not to have a royal title in baby Archie's name, is another radical move for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. It's like a literal shout out of how serious they are at going after a more private, normal life as a family—and seriously, if you've gotten to this point of the article you shouldn't be doubting that anymore. For starters, baby Archie's name is obviously another progressive move against the traditional royal names bestowed upon the members of the British Royal family. Does Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor sound like a king's name? Yes to me, but clearly not to most avid followers of the royal family. While there certainly are lots of other more popular choices like Philip, Albert, James, and Alexander, Archie Harrison sounds like a refreshing break from the lengthy aristocratic formalities and titles; and most importantly, sounds like a melodious fusion of the American and English cultures. Baby Archie is going to grow up having American friends, for sure. So while there'll be a lot of royal engagements to take part in, little Archie Harrison will also have to stay true to his American roots and a name like Archie sounds like a pretty cool name to me—meme-worthy, but pretty awesome nonetheless (I mean, who doesn't love Archiekins?!).
Unlike what we normally see in Hollywood movies—that of a young girl being thrown into a surprise royal status and having to go into a magical princessy transformation—Meghan plunged herself into a life of British Royalty wholeheartedly. Whether she wanted all this for herself since she was a young girl or whether it was something she needed to teach herself to live with, Meghan deserves credit for being a strong character amidst all the racist, cultural and royal-fanatic backlash she's had to live through. Marrying a prince may seem dreamy, but it clearly isn't as simple as we'd all imagine it to be. Nobody just swoops in wearing shining armor and riding a white horse to bring you to a castle where you're supposed to live happily ever after. Meghan was already her own self-made person before she married a real-life prince. She was already living her own successful life before she had to give it all up to support the man she loves. Meghan Markle is our cover momma for May for many reasons, but she has ultimately won us a thousand times over for leaving an enduring vision in the palace of a woman living her truth and standing by what's best for her family—because that's what mothers do with or without tiaras.
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