5 Life-changing Insights from our Enchanting Cover Momma for April
There is no rule book in motherhood. Sometimes, it literally feels like jumping on top of a high-speed train, holding on for your dear life, and just hoping for the best. There's also no single way of doing things correctly, which leaves room for a lot of questions and judgments even from fellow moms. Technology, which was supposed to make things easier, can sometimes cause more confusion than convenience. In this day and age of digital, a lot of things like teaching a child how to express him/herself, to storytelling, and teaching them basic stuff—a lot of these have changed. And the thing with technology is that it can be hard to keep up with at times. But here in the midst of all this chaotic technology, is a momma who's proving to the world that sometimes, sticking to motherhood's natural and organic roots is the best way to go. For this feature, let me break down all the life-changing insights I learned from this momma who's keeping me and a lot of other Filipino moms in complete awe. Mommas, it is my pleasure to present our gorgeous cover momma for April:
Jennica Garcia-Uytingco.
1. Motherhood first, a career can wait
Probably the first and the toughest challenge I ever had to face as a ftm is mom guilt. I had to get back to my career 3 months after giving birth to my baby. But apart from the physical, emotional, and mental challenges brought by post-partum recovery, it was particularly very difficult to face the fact that I had to leave my baby behind under somebody else's care. Amidst all those tearful moments at my work desk, I learned about Jennica, who not only turned her back on her promising showbiz career for her daughter, Mori, but also dedicated herself at doing motherhood in a total karir level.
"I often get surprised remarks when people around me find out that Mori doesn’t have a nanny. More surprised when my husband tells them that we don’t have a household helper at all. A usual follow up question is “how do you manage to do it?” I would normally just laugh, put a candyin my mouth, raise my right hand to the air and shout Darna! Joke!" Jennica Uytingco
To do something on a karir (career) level means doing something like your life depends on it. It means focusing and making sure you're doing something as p̶e̶r̶f̶e̶c̶t̶l̶y efficiently as you can. And in terms of motherhood, our April Cover Momma appears to be doing just that. Jennica started doing showbiz at 18. She had a promising career ahead of her, to which she eventually decided to turn her back on when she got pregnant at 25. At this age, I was all about myself, my work, my friends, my boyfriend, and my travels. I could not get my mind into thinking of giving up my job at this point for anything as it's basically how I lived. Jennica, on the other hand, is a full-time mother at 25—no nanny, no helper, just full-on super momma. Something I could not imagine myself doing at that age, and quite honestly, even up to this point. On a certain level, I think girls of this generation were brought up to have this option to have a career after college and really accomplish something for themselves. This is in contrast to how our parents and grandparents were expected to end up with a successful man who's supposed to give them the good life they wanted. May it be show business or a formal corporate job, women today tend to find equivalence in earning their own money and being successful. I just have to say how refreshing it is to learn about someone like Jennica who doesn't have any problem turning her back on a successful career to be a hands-on mother when all the rest of this generation's mothers seem to have a different expectation of themselves.
2. There is beauty in instilling discipline at an early age
Another thing that I - and for sure a lot of other Filipino moms - really admire about Jennica is the fact that she was able to potty-train her firstborn Mori at 9 months. Yep, that little lady knows how to tell her mama she needs to go potty way before she learned how to walk! Jennica actually took time and studied about Natural Infant Hygiene (NIH) so she could teach Mori how to go to potty on her own as early as possible. It takes someone very special to dedicate time and energy to teach a child of this age something this complex. Imagine the sense of victory and relief at being able to see your child ace potty training 9 months—beautiful, isn't it? And can we just talk about how proud little Mori is of herself in this photo 😍 Understandably, as most of us in this generation grew up in the rise of diaper companies, early potty training wasn't the norm. To Jennica, however, this doesn't mean it's unnatural.
"Babies are born signalling. I refrain from using the term infant potty training because it can easily have others raise their eyebrows on the matter. I think what most people in today’s generation does not know is how Natural Infant Hygiene is gentle and that having a potty trained child is simply the inevitable outcome of giving opportunities for the child to use the potty instead of allowing them to use a diaper as their walking toilet from birth." Jennica Uytingco, The Truth About Natural Infant Hygiene
Jennica is actually a certified NIH specialist here in the country. She is currently teaching classes and helping moms and babies break free from diapers as early as possible. Mason is 18 months and gives me a blank face whenever I try to discuss potty training with him. I need to secure a slot in one of Jennica's NIH classes STAT.
Apart from potty training, Mori has also achieved other impressive milestones at an early age, one of which is being able to keep herself busy without gadgets. You read that right. Mori is able to spend her time without having to grab mommy's phone to watch YouTube videos. If like me, you've also been following Jennica since she gave birth to Mori, you probably know too that raising gadget-free children is another one of her biggest parenting advocacies.
"I am sharing this story to encourage parents who raise gadget-free children or those who try to limit the exposure to media to continue what you started [...] She came up to me to ask if we can go. I said Tatay needs to pay first. What she did next was open her book (and) rest comfortably on a couch. To think she cannot even read yet! For a whole hour and a half, Mori was such a joy to be with. All our efforts to make her enjoy the simple things in life, our desire for her to know how to play on her own, it paid off!" Jennica Uytingco
Having to resort to digital entertainment to distract or keep my son busy is something I'm very guilty of. I have seen the difference it makes when I limit my baby's access to gadgets - he's more communicative, he's more playful, and he explores more things around him instead of just staying in one place. Jennica's dedication to instilling this kind of discipline to Mori is amazing to me. Know why that is? Because it is darn hard. To see this kind of commitment bear fruit through a child who's able to keep herself busy without the use of devices is just wonderful. And can I just say that it looks and feels natural too?
3. Children need nature
Perhaps the most important thing that truly makes Jennica a gorgeous, fairy momma is how she allows Mori to have a close relationship with nature. In a time when we're all about sanitation, sterilizers, and really obsessing about our children's health and cleanliness you just have to ask yourself sometimes, "when was the last time you allowed your children to play barefoot outdoors?" It sounds silly now, but I actually got to play barefoot outdoors when I was little. I'm still alive. But that was one of the most fun moments I can recall from my childhood. To Jennica, the great outdoors is her children's playground.
"As we stepped out of the car, I had a feeling that today would be a good day. And indeed, it was […] Having her with us allowed me to have time for myself. Mori was busy picking all sorts of things from the ground. These priceless moments constantly provide enough assurance that somehow, my decision to not have a commitment with the entertainment industry is all worth it. This decision must be made so I could focus on my family." Jennica Uytingco, Mori's First Easter
There is a certain kind of wonder in the look of a child while s/he's in commune with nature. I don't know. It just feels grounded and real. Makes me think why there's also a sense of contentment in my own baby whenever he comes back home with his yaya after being outdoors for a few minutes. Our Ate Jenny would always take Mason outside for quick walks and would allow him to watch vehicles pass by from a distance, play with pebbles in the front garden, and watch birds. It's kinda sad that this is all the nature my baby gets to enjoy in the city. But there's always definite excitement in his eyes whenever it's time for him to go outside to explore. And he comes back home contented and peaceful. Seeing Jennica and Mori in this kind of setting gives me the feels like this is how things should be. It just feels natural. Which makes me wonder even more why it's now difficult for most of us to do this. How can we be so hesitant at doing something that feels natural? Kinda makes me wonder too why it's called mother nature. Perhaps that's really Her purpose. To nurture life like how mothers nurture children, and to provide the same sense of security and belongingness that our kids seek from us—Woah. Speaking of what feels natural...
4. Fed is best but nothing beats the breast
Jennica is also a huge advocate of full-term breastfeeding and baby-led weaning. Despite having difficulties at the start of her journey, our cover momma never surrendered and leveraged on her faith and unwavering determination to make sure Mori receives the best nourishment she could get. Like a lot of other mommas, Jennica also had to seek the help of professional lactation consultants and lactation boosters so she could produce enough breastmilk for Mori. "The way the Lord designed breastmilk is just amazing. It has antibodies that no formula milk could ever imitate. These antibodies help an infant avoid diseases in various ways," she writes in her blog, Kalinga ni Nanay. I personally don't know what exactly pushed me to commit to exclusively breastfeeding my son. It might have been the guilt of not being able to deliver naturally, which in a way made me feel a bit less of a mother (that's so wrong please, don't feel that way about yourself). Or it may have been the encouragement of my entire birthing team, who I'm so blessed to have as they're all breastfeeding advocates. But thinking about it, I can say that a big part of it was because breastfeeding felt so natural for me. It literally feels like it's my body's natural response to my baby's cues - may they be hunger, need for comfort, security, or simply the need to bond. Jennica, despite having it rough in the beginning, believed so too. She stuck by it no matter what, believing that our bodies were designed to nourish our children. That no matter how painful it gets at the start, our bodies won't fail us. And she proved herself right!
"I can really tell that Mori finds my breast comforting. She sleeps better when nestled on my breast. If she gets hurt from playing, gets nervous or scared.. there is nothing that my breast cannot fix! Breastfeeding is an instant mood changer. No matter the chaos in the environment, when I offer it to Mori, it gives her the familiarity of calmness which in the end makes her feel that the world is a peaceful place." Jennica Uytingco
Breastfeeding is made difficult by a lot of different factors. Not only is it painful, but there are also instances where you can actually get sick from it (talk about clogged ducts, mastitis - tough stuff). To have someone like Jennica, with a considerable amount of following, to testify so loudly about the benefits of the breast and how not to give up is something mommas need today. Not only are modern mommas opinionated, we can also get so tough on each other and on ourselves, so having someone like Jennica Uytingco who stands by her beliefs and her commitment to giving her baby the best somehow gives us the kind of affirmation we all need—that it is possible, that our bodies can do it. I get the kind of pressure mothers carry nowadays, so this is not to criticize moms who decide to give their babies formula. When we do what we believe is best for our children and for ourselves, may it be breastfeeding or not, it comes from a place of love and that begets respect.
5. She practically delivered her baby in a pool on her own, ingested her own placenta, and did a complete lotus birth like NBD
Now before your imagination goes all barbaric, here's what I was actually trying to say: for her second child, Alexis Severina, Jennica practically did a goddamn water birth on her own as the assigned midwife wasn't able to make it on time. In an interview with Smart Parenting, her mother Jean Garcia reported that Jennica has already given birth by the time the midwife arrived. It was actually her husband, Alwyn Uytingco, who caught the baby underwater 👏 They were nonetheless guided by a doula, who also prepared an incredibly exciting refreshment for Jennica after successfully pushing her baby out. Being the awesome couple that they are, both Alwyn and Jennica excitedly took sips of *are you ready for this* a fresh, fruity placenta smoothie.
"Blended with it, is a small piece of my daughter's own placenta. To my surprise, my husband, drank two sips from my smoothie before handing it over to me! 😂 Kaya siguro mahal na mahal ko ang asawa ko. Alam kong naiintindihan at suportado niya ako, gaano man ka-iba ang nais kong tahakinna landas. While most would probably take the smoothie in one go, being worried that there might actually be a foul taste or smell from the placenta, I took a sweet time drinking mine and enjoyed every moment of it. We even kept a few more pieces in the freezer to be able to make more for later. Cheers!" Jennica Uytingco
A woman's placenta is said to have several benefits crucial to a momma's post-partum recovery. In an article about Jennica's birth story, Smart Parenting writes, "Placenta and its capsulated form is said to help increase the production of estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, prostaglandin, among others, which can help prepare the mother's body for lactation and regulate uterine cramping". If that's awesome enough for you, it gets better. As with the practice of a growing number of modern moms, Jennica also decided to keep her baby's umbilical cord attached to the placenta and waited for it to naturally detach in a process known as Lotus Birth. This process allows the baby to absorb as much of the good stuff that's in the placenta—much like delayed cord clamping, but instead of retaining just a small cord stub, you wait for the whole thing (including the actual placenta) to naturally detach from your baby. Delivering their own baby via water birth, drinking placenta, and following through with a lotus birth—I mean, if that's not badass enough for you, I don't know what is. Can I also just say that all mothers are badasses regardless of birth stories, but Jennica, for sure, takes the cake on this one.
For years, the world has been trying to make this motherhood thing easier for us. While these things sure make our lives easier, they always come with a price. And sometimes, paying that price doesn't seem to be worth it especially when we really look deep into the benefits of taking a more natural course to motherhood. Jennica is an amazing reflection of what natural motherhood is all about. She's also a living proof that there is no right age to be a good mother. She is a young self-made certified parenting coach and entrepreneur who's making a living out of her passions, all while being a devoted mother to her two children and wife to Alwyn. She's a testament to how there is grace in staying true to the natural roots and bearings of motherhood, and that it remains to be a beautiful experience in all its rawness, challenges, pain, and depth. The more I read about what Jennica shares on social media, the more I realize that sometimes, I buy convenience without thinking whether it's also helping my child on a more holistic level. For sure these products make my job easier, but is my child healthier, happier, and more comfortable? The more I listen to her the more I also tend to be more forgiving of myself for not living up to the ridiculously perfect motherhood ideal I have in mind. Because certainly, motherhood isn't meant to be a perfect journey. It was only meant to be worth all of it.
Jennica is the daughter of veteran actress Jean Garcia and used to be part of GMA Artist Center before deciding to be a full-time mom to her firstborn. She's now been married to actor Alwyn Uytingco for 9 years and have 2 daughters together: Athena Mori (3) and Alexis Severina (10 months).
Follow Jennica on Instagram via @jennicauytingco
Stay up to date on her latest talks and classes on parenting and NIH via Facebook at Kalinga ni Nanay, and learn more about her miniature succulents business and order one for yourself via @duwendeinapot.
Comments